letters to ol' shitter jim

need advice from ol' shitter jim?

 

we like to keep ol' shitter jim busy, and giving advice to all of you out there is a perfect way to keep his ol' mind sharp.  feel free to leave a question for ol' shitter jim by using the form below. we may even put your letter up on this site.

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dear ol' shitter jim,

I've got some "time off" work an I'm looking to rip out a few walls at home and add on a whole new wing. Probably rewire the whole thing. I'm thinking 220. What'd you think...

--timurphy

 

 

howdy there, timurphy,

i'll tell you this for sure, there ain't no better way of catching them largemouth bass than with a good lure and the right time of day. just remember, a largemouth bass will strike prey that is 25% to 50% of its length. if you're heading down to the quarry lake out behind thompson's farm, you'll end up driving by an old fallen oak tree about a quarter mile past the stop sign at route 54. back in the day, the moonshiners would use that tree as a hiding spot when the police came sniffing around. so the best thing to do is put your cb radio on channel 9, that way you can hear all the smokies out there.

 

hope that helps,

ol' shitter jim

 

dear ol' shitter jim,

dad?

--jason s.

 

 

howdy jason,

having hens that aren't laying eggs is quite a problem. most people don't realize that hens need a good 14 or so hours of daylight to get in a good laying mood. I had a cousin that used to make some real fancy scrambled eggs. when he was about 50 or so, he put a fence up in his back yard. there used to be not so many people around, so we could go shooting on his property, but about 20 years ago, they started building a bunch of houses all next to each other, and now they're making cars that don't need to use gas! no gas at all! ain't that just the craziest thing you ever heard?

 

hope that helps,

ol' shitter jim

 

ol' shitter jim

dear ol' shitter jim,

having lots of nightmares lately. suggestions?

--rachael

 

 

Well now, Rachael, to answer your question, when you're looking for a new fishing reel, you're going to want to figure out what type of reel you need. Since you're a beginner, I'd go with a single-action reel. These are the easiest to use and they ain't too hard to handle, which will come in handy when you're driving down the steep hills. You just want to make sure you don't exceed your towing weight... one time, I was towing a trailer through the foothills, and I was almost sure I wouldn't make it up them hills! Lucky for me, the mailman was friendly with my dog, so I was able to get the letter from my cousin just fine.

 

hope that helps,

ol' shitter jim

 

dear ol' shitter jim,

I have a problem finding a problem to send you, what should I do?! Help me

--samah

 

 

well hello there samah,

the best time to plant watermelons is to wait until it gets warmer. you want the soil to be about 70 or so to get the best sprouts out of your seeds. of course, you don't want it to get too hot. however, if you do want to get it hot, and i mean hotter than the hottest center of hell, you may have a chance at running at the record. back in '38, joseph duddington and thomas bray got their steam train, the mallard, up to 125 miles per hour! ain't no one gone faster since then, so good luck to you!

 

hope that helps,

ol' shitter jim

 

dear ol' shitter jim,

i met a girl a few months ago and things are going great... well, they were going great up until the point when she said we should move in together. i'm a little freaked out by it and don't know what i should do. what do you think, jim?

 

 

howdy fella!

well, sounds like you are in a pickle! first off, you gotta find a safe spot to pull over. make sure to turn on your hazard lights. once you're safely by the side of the road, use your wrench to loosen the lug nuts. then use the jack to lift the vehicle off the ground. remove the lug nuts and pull the tire off the car. place the spare on the car. to get your new tire on, just reverse those steps and put on the new tire.

 

hope that helps,

ol' shitter jim

 

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